| Ivy's Twisted Vine By: Latrivia S. Nelson Chapter 1 SOMEONE OLD “Oh Grey, I love you so much,” Ivy said, panting heavily as her fiancé lifted her off the ground and carried her to the twin mahogany wood sleigh bed in the corner of the dorm room. “Yeah. Yeah, me too,” Grey said shortly, laying Ivy carefully on the little bed. He really wished they had gone to his place. Ivy’s little room made him feel claustrophobic. “Don’t forget the condom,” Ivy reminded him hastily as she unbuttoned her soft pink Brooks Brothers Oxford and revealed the black lace bra that invitingly propped up her ample breasts. “I’ve already got it on,” Grey said, pulling off her wool trousers and relishing the beauty of her caramel temple. Looking down in shock, Ivy confirmed his readiness and for a second tried to recall when Grey would have had time to slip on the contraceptive. Reminded of the little time that they had as she saw his tie and shirt hit the ground, she reached out for him and held his beautiful, brown, clean-shaven face in her hands. It had been five days since they were last intimate, which was unusual for the oversexed pair. Nearly at the four-month mark of their engagement, tension had been running high between them over the last few weeks. Ivy could only attribute such an untimely funk to Grey’s new promotion at the firm and his heavy load in graduate school. But now they were finally alone, and what had started out as an argument was about to end in the heated pleasure of two young adults releasing all earthly frustration in a thirty-minute session of tantric, erotic, and somewhat distasteful sex. She kissed him affectionately on his full lips and smiled. “Wait,” Grey said suddenly. “What?” Ivy’s high was instantly interrupted. “I think the condom just broke.” He checked. “Yep, it did.” Standing up, Grey walked over slowly to the green satin lounge chair and retrieved his pants. “And I don’t have another one with me.” “But you didn’t even touch me.” Ivy pulled the covers over her exposed body and tried to reclaim her composure. “Wow. Well, do you have another one? You always carry two.” “Not this time.” Disappointed, he slipped on his trousers. “Sorry baby.” “Oh, it’s not your fault,” she said in a pouty voice as she pulled her long locks up into a ponytail. “You know we could, just this once…” He gave her the look and hoped that she could read between the lines. “Baby, you know that I want to, but we’ve done so well for so long. We can’t just throw it all away now.” She knew that she had to be the strong one when he was at his weakest, although she wanted him just as badly. This is a situation that could be easily solved if you only had a few condoms yourself, Grey thought to himself as he smiled sardonically. And she was supposed to be such a modern woman. Now Grey was even more frustrated and ready to leave unless Ivy was willing to give him a little substitution. Watching her jump up and immediately began to dress, he knew that whatever he had hoped for was out as well. “One time won’t kill us,” Grey said, deciding to push the subject a little further. No sense giving up without a fight. “How long have we been together?” Ivy asked as she looked at his reflection in her standing mahogany mirror. Grey sighed heavily. “That’s beside the point.” Lord in heaven knew that he didn’t care to hear another lecture from her at that moment about safe sex. If she got any safer, she would be abstinent. “Five years,” Ivy answered for him as she turned around to face him. “And in five years, we have never gone without protection of some sort.” “OK, bravo.” He clapped his hands emphatically. “It’s not like I want to get you pregnant. In fact, I can almost guarantee you 100 percent that I wouldn’t. But even still, in the worst case scenario, you act like pregnancy with me is the end of the world.” He knew that his comments would ensure an argument, but he couldn’t help himself. He was Grey Henderson! It wasn’t like she was scraping the bottom of the barrel. “Look, you know I possibly would if I was still on birth control, but until the doctor puts me back on it, we have to be careful. I mean, I’m just now getting into my field. I don’t want to throw it away.” Ivy could feel a headache coming, and she could see that Grey was trying to pick at her. “Why do you always take things to the next level? We’re talking about not using a condom once. I would pull out. God, it’s not the end of the world,” Grey said as he slipped on his Louis Vuitton loafers and stood up. It wasn’t worth it to sit and fight with her about something that he could get elsewhere. “I’m not taking things to the next level, Grey. I just…” Men seemed to never take women and their careers seriously. Ivy sighed, feeling that she had more than lost the battle. “Please, I don’t want the drama this early in the day,” Grey said, clasping his hands together as a gesture of peace. “I’ve got to go anyway.” He hurriedly put on his shirt and tie and grabbed his suit jacket. “Why do we always have to ruin things?” Ivy crossed her arms and stood bewildered. How had the situation escalated so quickly? “We ruin things? Since when have we been the problem?” Grey sighed. He didn’t mean to let his frustration slip out. He was sure that there would be other times, but he was extremely agitated just the same. “Look, I’m gonna go on and head out of here, OK? You’ve got class in less than an hour, and I’ve got a hundred things to do before I get back to the office. Let’s not do this before the start of a perfectly long day.” He looked down at his watch. “I’ll call you tonight.” Kissing Ivy on her forehead, he turned on his heels and headed out of the door, leaving her speechless. * Dr. Peterson was a stickler for tardiness even in the unheard-of September snow that was falling heavily under the dismal silver skies. Less than one hour after Grey had left, barely missing his door close and saving herself the embarrassment of interrupting Dr. Peterson’s lecture, Ivy sat down beside her best friend, Trina, and unwrapped her scarf to begin yet another boring lecture about business ethics. She could tell that today was going to be a long, long day. “Did you type up your essay last night?” Trina whispered to Ivy as Dr. Peterson closed the door. “Yeah, did you?” Ivy said, pulling her work from her brown leather satchel and placing it confidently on her desk. “I forgot,” Trina said, taking Ivy’s essay and sliding it under her desk. “Don’t remind him. He may have forgotten too.” “Good morning, class. Please take out your essays,” Dr. Peterson said, smiling at Trina. “I hope that you all remembered that this counts as 20 percent of your semester grade.” “I hate him,” Trina said under her breath as she smiled back at Dr. Peterson. * Class passed quickly, and within an hour Ivy and Trina found themselves at their favorite eatery, Abundant Creations Bistro, in the Cooper-Young district having a light lunch and warm lemon tea in the confines of the beautiful little corner restaurant watching the busy midtown traffic pass by in the window. It was a once-a- week trip they made to relax and enjoy the afternoon away from the campus. “You’re gonna fail,” Ivy said disapprovingly to Trina, who only lifted her eyebrow in response to the statement. “Quit being so damned dramatic. I ain’t gonna fail; I just won’t graduate with a thousand honors. Everyone can’t be a 4.0 student, you know,” Trina teased her concerned friend. “I just know that you’re better than average,” Ivy said, ignoring Trina and the second accusation of the day that she was a drama queen. “Yes, mother,” Trina said mockingly. “What’s bothering you today?” “Grey,” Ivy said, looking down at the green-checkered tablecloth. “Sometimes, he seems so unreasonable. And I just don’t understand why.” She tried to smile. “And sometimes, I feel like maybe it’s all me being way too uptight.” “Probably a little bit of both.” Trina touched her hand. “Planning a wedding during your senior year of college is a lot of responsibility.” “I know. We’re both stressed out. Maybe I should just take it easy for a little while; you know, not bother him so much and be a little more relaxed about certain issues.” “Issues like what?” Trina pried. Grey was known for asking far too much of Ivy for his own selfish aspirations. “Sex without a condom,” Ivy said in a near whisper. “Oh,” Trina said, wiping her mouth with the napkin. “I thought he asked a little bit more of you than that…like anal or something.” Ivy laughed. Leave it to Trina to think of the most out-of-control scenario. “No,” Ivy said, shaking her head. Suddenly, his request didn’t seem so bad compared to Trina’s guess. “But at least you can’t get pregnant through the back door,” Trina said, picking up her half-eaten sandwich. “But I still wouldn’t,” she said, interjecting with that small piece of vital information before she took a bite. “I would never,” she said as a horrible afterthought, shaking her head violently. “I know you wouldn’t,” Trina said chuckling. “What is that supposed to mean?” Ivy put her sandwich down again. “Girl, please. You’ve got on a button-down Oxford, sweater vest, slacks, and loafers in the middle of the school week. You’ve got a Blackberry with a list of things to accomplish everyday. You’ve got a five-year plan, a ten- year plan, and a backup plan for your entire professional career. Ever since Grey got hold of you, you’ve changed. You’ve become…him in a skirt.” Trina laughed. “Now that isn’t a bad thing, but you’re too conservative to be anything but.” “I can be wild,” Ivy said, outraged, in a high-pitched voice, as if to convince Trina. “It’s just that Grey always has somewhere he wants me to go with him and his family, and they are so politically correct. I just stay prepared. But I have jeans and t-shirts. And I don’t always carry my Blackberry.” She looked down into her Coach bag to see it at the top of the contents of her purse and sighed. “Well, I think that you’re perfect just the way you are, if this is who you really are,” Trina said looking at Ivy’s sweater. “Because that outfit is still banging and probably more expensive than the equivalent of everything in my closet.” She smiled. “It’s just so…uptight.” “Well, I’m not uptight,” Ivy said reassuringly. “I pull this look off with fun and flare.” She searched her mind for the right words. “I still know how to relax though.” “Uh huh, I know.” Trina smiled. “In all the years that I’ve known you, you’ve always been true to yourself…even if it took you a while to figure out who you were…are.” “Well, I know who I am. I’m a woman in charge of her destiny. I’ve focused in on what I want, and I plan to go for it,” she said, squinting her eyes. “And Grey is only a small part of that, just like this outfit is only a small part of me. If he left me today, I would still be the same person.” “I doubt that,” Trina said, bucking her eyes. “In fact, you’ve been sculpted into what he and your family want you to be for so long that if that were to change, you would change dramatically.” “This is who I am, Trina.” “And I love you for it,” Trina said, realizing that she would never prove her point. For a minute, Ivy went into a reactive daze. To herself, she was as happy as any young woman her age could be within reason. She had been dating Grey for five beautiful years, and this last summer, he had proposed over a candlelit dinner after three bottles of champagne. Everyone in both families knew that the proposal was coming soon. It was the next thing to do when a couple reached that level. Plus, she had a little more than one semester of college left and a job lined up and waiting for her. Her life was near perfection. * “Life couldn’t be worse,” Grey said, exhaling deeply as he lay back on his friend’s black leather couch and closed his eyes. “You know, I charge for these sessions,” Mattock said, sitting behind his desk. “Free consultations aren’t my forte.” “To hell with your forte. Besides, I don’t need a shrink. I need a pall bearer.” Grey shifted around and looked up at the ceiling. “Why? Are you about to die?” Mattock asked, biting down into a juicy green apple as he looked over the downtown Memphis skyline through his corner-office window. “Yeah, you didn’t know. My fiancée is planning my funeral now.” Grey sat up. “But she likes to call it a wedding.” “I don’t understand. If you didn’t want to get married, then why did you propose to her? It wasn’t like she was twisting your arm for it.” After being friends with Grey many years, Mattock still did not understand Grey’s need to lead such a promiscuous lifestyle. From what he could tell, Ivy was a great girl and any man in his right mind could see it. Grey pondered the thought. “It was time, according to my father’s standards and Ivy’s. My father thinks that we can’t win this election if I don’t have a more concrete image in the community. Plus, Ivy has always hinted at marriage after college. It was a perfect match. This election means an opportunity to go for it. All the local blogs, polls, and political leaders say that Memphis needs a family man in my uncle’s position. Plus, at first glance I did want to get married. Our relationship was going great, both of us had promising futures, both of us had the same ambitions, and to top it all off, she was all mine.” “Nothing has changed from that standpoint.” Mattock still did not understand. “You know Ivy was a virgin when I started dating her?” To Grey that was one of the most important facts to point out. “You’ve mentioned it,” Mattock said, actively listening. “But she was only a senior in high school. That’s pretty common. You were a junior in college. It’s a different league.” “I just remember seeing her with her family at one of my father’s dinners, and I fell head over heels for her. I had no idea how young she was.” Grey’s thoughts exhausted him, and he lay back down and gazed at the ceiling again. “Since the day we started dating, I knew that I would marry her. My family approved of her, my friends approved her, and Memphis will approve of us.” “So why are you so torn about marrying this perfect woman, by your own standards?” Mattock waited patiently. “I don’t know. But I did know that if I let her get out there after college with no strings attached, going to meetings, traveling, meeting new people, and discovering new things, I wouldn’t seem so fascinating, and marriage to me wouldn’t be either.” “So let me get this straight, you asked her to marry you to keep her off the market and you in the race for Congress?” Mattock asked. “Basically,” Grey replied reluctantly. He sat up. “But as crude as it sounds it’s not unheard of, you know. I’m marrying for purpose.” “You don’t think that you could swing the seat without being married?” Mattock was always surprised by his best friend’s constant antics over love and lust. “Hey, I’m no expert. But the experts tell me that I can’t. So if I have to marry, then I might as well marry Ivy.” Grey’s forehead wrinkled as he tried to make sense of it all. “Do you see where I’m going with this?” “Yes, I see where you’re headed, but the question is, do you? More important, you still haven’t answered one important question.” Mattock shook his head. Grey was amazingly confused to be such an intelligent man. “What question haven’t I answered?” Grey asked, curious about his friend’s apparent infinite wisdom on the subject. “Do you love her?” Mattock sat down his apple and picked up his writing pad. “Yes, I love her, but I know what’s out there. I didn’t even start to think about cheating on her until I graduated from undergrad. Then it was like all of these successful beautiful women came out of the woodwork, offering to do whatever I wanted.” He smiled proudly even in the midst of his dilemma. “They couldn’t get enough of me.” “And you couldn’t get enough of them.” Mattock scribbled down something on his pad and reached for a small book on his table. “My point is that just like I was turned out before I could get my degree good, Ivy would’ve been if I hadn’t stepped in first.” Grey sighed heavily. Mattock was stressing him out further instead of helping him. “So you asked her to marry you,” Mattock said, astonished. “What can I say? You had it all figured out, except one part.” “What’s that?” Grey asked. “You’re not ready for marriage even if Ivy is ready. You’re still going to cheat on her and lie to her and misuse her. Only now you’ll be doing it in the sacred covenant of marriage. And eventually, Ivy is still going to be exposed and possibly turned out, as you call it. Plus, you could marry this girl and still lose the election, heaven forbid, for Ivy’s sake. Nothing is promised.” “So what do you think that I should do, Doc?” Grey looked at his watch. It was time to head to city hall for his father’s press conference. Mattock set his book down. “Well, I think you should search your heart for some real answers before you ruin this girl’s life trying to have your cake and eat it too.” * Grey pondered his friend’s suggestions as he drove recklessly through the bad weather in his silver BMW Z4 M Roadster to get downtown to his father’s office. It never sounded good to have a friend tell him that it was apparent that he used the woman that would one day be the mother of his children. But in hindsight, it was the truth. Plus, Mattock’s point about possibly still losing the election hit him hardest. Passing the long line of wrecks on the interstate, Grey drew his attention back to the weather. Something wasn’t right in Memphis. Something wasn’t right in the world. For as many years as he could remember, there had never been such severe weather. Normally, it wasn’t even cold yet. Now, fender benders lined the streets, because drivers weren’t used to the roads being slick. The shelters were full of displaced veterans and other homeless people; the government had to give emergency funds to clear out storm-beaten communities, and his father had to be on top of his game to make Memphians feel safe. Juggling unpredictable situations was supposed to be the Henderson family’s strongest trait. Now, only time would tell. * “Looks like hell finally froze over, boys,” Mayor Henderson said as he walked briskly in front of his large entourage out to the iced-over front steps of City Hall, where an eager group of reporters waited impatiently in the snow. As the doors swung open, his million-dollar smile appeared and his political face was on. Politicking was such fickle business, but he was consistent and unchangeable. They had labeled him Hard- Ass Henderson, and he had stayed true to his name for eighteen years. Standing behind the podium in front of the masses and below the American and Tennessee flags, Mayor Henderson cleared his throat and began in a powerful baritone voice, “Thank you for coming this afternoon. Today is the new beginning of a new era for the citizens of Memphis. We have fought long and hard in this city for equality and justice. We have been victims of prejudice and hatred. But we have in the past and will continue in the future…to prevail. It is our conviction to achieve greatness not only as individuals but as a cohesive city, state, and country, which will make us an awesome force.” Mayor Henderson took a deep breath and continued. “This cohesiveness will once again prove to be a weapon against unjust actions. I have not come before you today to celebrate a winning basketball team, a new architectural muse, or even a new business venture. I have come before you today to announce that Memphis will once again be free from the strong hold of sadistic bloodsucking drug dealers and able to see a brighter day with a better purpose very soon.” Henderson’s gallant voice faded for a moment while he made sure to pose where the cameras would get his good side. “If it is the last thing that I do as your mayor, I have taken on the charge to rid Memphis of drug infestation with the sincerest of passion, and I will make it happen.” The crowd behind the reporters cheered briefly, interrupting his speech and allowing a few good shots with the other major players present for the press conference. “Today, Director Billings, Major Hamilton, Lt. Agosto of the Special Units-Narcotics Division, Lt. Brooks of the COBRA SWAT Unit, and I concluded the last of eight meetings that have taken place over the last two weeks. The fruits of our labor will be evident in the new specialized unit that has already hit the streets of Memphis to fight head-on the war on drugs. We have taken twenty-three of our finest narcotics and SWAT officers and combined them into one unit with the skill, expertise, and intel that will send a message nationwide. The citizens of Memphis want drugs, drug dealers, and drug abusers the hell out of Memphis. And so this is the final warning for those who mean to disrupt the lives of Memphis further with drugs. Twenty-three expertly trained officers of high rank specializing in everything from high-risk search and seizure to lie detection, along with the entire Memphis Police Department at their beck and call, are ready, with the backing of an $18.5 million budget allocated through taxpayers; and the seizure of drug dealer’s undeserved wealth has equipped us in a manner that has never been seen in the city of Memphis. We are taking back our streets one house, one corner, and one person at a time through a citywide effort called Operation Checkbook. The reason that this operation has been dubbed checkbook is because each drug dealer has written a check in this city that has cost us our children, mothers, fathers, brothers, wives, best friends, teachers, preachers, and leaders. And it’s time to cash in on what you owe us.” As Mayor Henderson ended his powerful speech, he felt an overwhelming calm in his heart. Yes, he had been politicking for a long time, but this was something different. This would bring real change. Turning around, he caught a glimpse of the pride in his son Grey, who nodded approvingly. Standing behind his father, Grey smiled into the cameras as he listened to both lieutenants and the director of the Memphis Police Department give praise to his father and his administration for their hard work and due diligence. This was just the kind of exposure his father needed in his fourth term. And this new unit would be just the vehicle to drive their family into a new arena of political monopoly, as he prepared for his own race in the approaching midterm election. * It was almost ten thirty that night before Ivy was finished at the library with her report for class and her research for a client. Determined not to be out of the loop too much at the office, she volunteered to take on smaller projects from home. It was pride that made her push herself to new heights. Not the pride in herself, but the pride of having a wonderful job and a loving family. Her mother had always said to her, “To whom much is given, much is expected.” So it was obvious that her family expected a lot. Drudging through the ice and snow that had accumulated on the well-manicured lawn of her little campus, Ivy held on tightly to her black wool sailor coat and made her way anxiously to the dorms, kicking herself with every stride for leaving her car parked inside the parking lot. It felt like hours of torture by the time she had finished her ten-minute hike and quickly entered her dorm to shake off the excess snow and peel off her clothes, which seemed to be frozen to her body. Awakened by the turn of the doorknob, Trina sat up in her bed. “Ivy, is that you?” she asked, turning on her lamp. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you,” Ivy said, taking her pajamas out of her drawer. “It’s cool. Grey called you. He said to call him back as soon as you get in. It sounded urgent.” Trina sniffed slightly. “Yeah, I forgot my cell phone earlier. I figured he had called by now.” Silence. “Why are you in the bed so early?” Ivy asked, noticing Trina’s red eyes. “Kylan and I got into a fight, and I guess I just cried myself to sleep.” “What are y’all into it over now?” They had only been dating one month and this had been their fourth argument at least. “He was at the Mu mixer all over some other girl tonight. I thought that he and I were starting to get serious, especially after the other day at his place. You should have heard him going on about how fine I was then. But all he was trying to do was get in my pants, and I was too blind to see it.” Tears started to form in the sides of Trina’s eyes again. “Oh, T. Don’t cry over him. He isn’t worth it, and you know it.” Ivy grabbed a napkin from her dresser and passed it to Trina. “Easy for you to say…I slept with him that night at his house,” Trina said, interrupting. She was sure that the news would stun Ivy since she had lied earlier in the week and said that she had turned him down cold. Ivy paused. “Well, I see what all the tears are for.” She sat down on the side of Trina’s bed to try to comfort her. “It’ll be OK though. You just have to learn from this and move on.” In actuality she wanted to scold her friend for being so careless with her body, but she knew that this wasn’t the time. Besides, who was she to judge? “I feel so stupid,” Trina said, crying. “Truthfully, I wanted…no, I needed to hear the things he was saying the other night. Looking in his eyes, you would have sworn that he was sincere, but tonight, he was all over that freshman. I was so pissed off, girl. I just went over and threw punch all over him.” Ivy laughed. “He deserved it, and you deserve better. But I don’t have to tell you that, do I?” There was a brief awkward silence. “No, you don’t have to tell me.” Trina tried to smile for her friend. “Go and call Grey. I’ll be fine. I just realized that I really want to be back with Brooks. When we were together things were different.” Trina wiped her eyes. “Brooks? You hated him. If you two weren’t fighting, you were about to.” Ivy liked Brooks as a person, but as a couple the two hadn’t made a good match. “Say what you will, but I was happy,” Trina was content with her decision and had already made plans to reunite with her old flame. “Alright. If you like it, then I love it.” Ivy picked up her phone. “I’m going to go and call Grey.” She wondered if her advice had only made things worse. The phone rang several times before Grey finally answered in a deep somber voice. “Hello,” he said, looking down at his caller ID to see Ivy’s number. “Hey, Trina said that you called earlier. I didn’t have my phone with me. What’s up?” Ivy said sitting back down on the couch in the common area. “A lot.” He sighed heavily into the phone. “I really need to talk to you.” Grey tried to choose his words carefully. “I was hoping maybe that you could come over tonight. I know that it’s late, so if you don’t feel up to it, I’ll come to you.” “What’s wrong?” Ivy sat up. “What I need to say doesn’t need to be said over the phone.” Ivy could sense the stress in his voice and stopped her questions. “OK, I’ll be right over,” she said, hanging up the phone. * Half an hour later, Ivy pulled up to River Estates Luxury Condo Community and buzzed Grey. Hundreds of thoughts flooded her mind as she drove to his place. Now she was about to get closure. The gates opened, and she drove silently through the streets until she arrived at his driveway. Hesitantly parking her car, she tried to fight the fatigue that overwhelmed her. Grey came to the front door and turned on his porch light, signaling for her to come inside. “God, what’s going on?” she said softly. Ivy crossed the threshold of Grey’s home. Without thought, she allowed him to take her coat as she walked into the foyer. She looked around in awe as always. Grey’s home had been decorated by a friend, who was a professional interior decorator out of Houston, Texas. The entire home had been lavishly decorated in black Armani Casa designs. It was modern and masculine. Every piece of furniture was an architectural art piece reminiscent of the Art Deco era of the 1930s. Even his foyer screamed aesthetic harmony with its clean lines, ultra-elegant designs, and attention to detail. As Grey put her coat away, Ivy made her way to the living room where she noticed a single shot glass of tequila and a nearly empty bottle of Gran Centenario on the table. This was extremely alarming to Ivy, because Grey was a light, social drinker. Ivy sat down on the couch and took a deep breath. Normally, she was ever the optimist, but her gut feeling told her to prepare for the worst. So whatever he was about to tell her, she wouldn’t cry. She wouldn’t curse or hit him. She wouldn’t scream. She wouldn’t… Grey sat beside her on the couch and interrupted her in deep thought. His smile had gone, and worry laced his face. Ivy stared at Grey for a moment in his black cashmere turtleneck and lightly starched chinos. She loved his smooth brown chocolate skin clear of any blemish, his strong sculpted jaw line, his adorable dimple that seem to be planted like a star in his left cheek, his smooth black eyebrows, deep dark eyes, and his broad shoulders that sprouted out like wings. “You want to tell me what this is about?” Ivy asked, looking at the glass on the table. “How rude of me. Would you like something to drink?” Grey offered politely. “I think that I would prefer to stay sober.” Grey sighed. There was no need to prolong this moment any longer. “Look, I know it’s late, and you’re tired. But I wouldn’t have called you over here if it could have waited until tomorrow.” “It,” Ivy said quietly. Grey’s words frightened Ivy, but she sat patiently, attentively listening. Grey continued, “It’s just that you know we’ve been going in circles for a couple of weeks now, and when you come over, it seems like I have an attitude with you.” Silence. “It seems like I don’t want you here or that I’m being shady. I mean, just the other day, you told me that it seemed like I was acting funny with you.” He touched her leg as he tried to explain. She looked down and back up at him in total confusion. “Go on,” Ivy said trying to get to the point. Grey continued, “Damn, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I do acknowledge the fact that something hasn’t been right around here. And I acknowledge the fact that the problem has been me.” He thought taking the blame would lighten the tension, but he was sorely mistaken. Ivy still had a blank look on her face. “It’s just that I am going through something right now. I know you don’t understand, but it’s like this wedding is taking me on a roller coaster ride.” He took a long deep breath. “When we’re together all we ever do is talk about the wedding. What colors might we use? How many bridesmaids should we use? Where is the reception going to be? It makes me wonder if I am truly ready for this.” His voice trembled. “Then I feel trapped after you’ re gone. I feel depressed, you know…like you’re taking over my life.” There was a long quiet scream in the room that was accompanied by an occasional crackle of the fireplace. Inside, Grey was too confused to say what he really felt. After all, his friend had only hours earlier revealed to him that he was marrying this wonderful creature for all the wrong reasons. Breaking up with her was definitely the right…no the moral thing to do. “So you said all that to say what, Grey?” Ivy asked, interrupting with her voice trembling. She had heard enough of his babbling. What did he want to do…elope? “I said all that to say that I’m sorry, but we can’t go on. It’s best that we just call it quits now.” Grey tried to avoid making eye contact. “Because I wouldn’t have unprotected sex with you today?” Ivy’s eyes bucked. “What?” Grey said, appalled. “No.” “Then what brought all of this on? Why now?” Was she hyper ventilating? Oh, God! I can’t breathe, Ivy thought to herself as the room began to swim around her. She stood up and walked over to the fireplace. She needed some room. “Why not now? Would you prefer that I tell you the day of the wedding? Or better yet, marry you and serve you with divorce papers before our first anniversary?” Grey could also feel the conversation escalating. Calm down, he said to himself. Just calm down and breathe. You can get through this, he coached himself in his mind as he took another shot of the tequila. “No, I’d prefer you be a damned man about the situation and tell me what’s really going on here, because I don’t believe that it’s all about the wedding planning or taking over your life. What about counseling? We haven’t even begun to try to hold this relationship together.” Ivy wiped the tears away as quickly as they fell. “Ivy,” Grey said, trying to plead with her, seeing that she was losing her composure. “You know, I’m just not ready for this conversation,” she said, trembling. “I’m not ready to hear that you just wasted five years of my life!” she screamed. “I never said that I didn’t love you. I’m just confused right now.” Grey tried to reason with her. Standing up, he debated whether to go to her or not. “Then get unconfused!” Ivy snapped as she turned back toward the fireplace. “I wish that you would see that there is a bigger picture here.” Grey walked over to her. It was killing him to end what they had so abruptly, but what else could he do? He had messed up enough. “Oh, I see the bigger picture, Grey!” Her voice rose again, and she realized that she had broken yet another promise to herself. “You don’t love me.” She looked into his eyes as she watched his temper overcome him. “I do love you. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t take the time. Don’t you see that? Just try to hear what I’m saying to you. Try to see what I’m trying to do.” His voice was strained. “I see that you’ve broken my heart all because you’re scared that you’ll never get laid by another woman again. I see that you went to my father and asked for my hand in marriage without making sure that you actually wanted it.” Ivy raised her hand dramatically. “I see that I have spent time and money on a wedding that will never take place. And most of all, I see that you are not the man that I thought you were. That is what I can see, Grey.” Her voice cracked and mellowed to a broken whisper. “Ivy, I have realized that I was moving too fast with this. Before it’s too late, I have to stop this wedding…this relationship.” Grey looked at her for a moment and realized that she was just too emotional to follow him. As horrible as the entire situation was, he had to be direct with her in order for her to understand what he was truly trying to say. “No matter how I try to explain it, when it comes down to it, I don’t want to be with you anymore. I’m sorry, but I just want my life back.” “I didn’t ask you for your life in the first place.” Ivy’s heart was broken. She could barely make eye contact with him. Who was this person? Where was Grey? Now that the hard part had been said, Grey felt it easier to play offense. He pushed his point home. “At least you’ll have more time to focus on you.” “I can’t believe that you are doing this to me,” Ivy said with her eyes closed to push back the tears. “Don’t play the victim here, Ivy. You’ve been plotting to get me to yourself for years. Now you want to act like I chased you when you know that it was the other way around.” Grey let the words slip from his tongue before he had time to think about what he was saying. Whoops… They both stood, stunned for a moment and unable to speak or barely breathe. Why was he doing this to her? She didn’t deserve this. Not this! Ivy simply could not understand, and in his drunken haze neither could Grey for a minute. “It’s not enough for you to break off our engagement, is it? No, you have to go and break off our friendship too,” Ivy said, realizing that she had nothing else to say to him. She straightened up her face and regained her composure. Why can’t she see that I’m doing her a favor? Grey reasoned with his conscious quietly. Just let go. Just let go! Outraged, Ivy turned on her heals and headed for the door, trembling in disbelief. “Alright, Grey. I’ll give you what you want. Goodbye,” she said trying to hold back the storm of tears she felt welling up in her eyes. “Wait, Ivy!” Grey said, trying to stop her. He didn’t mean to say it like that! He didn’t want to hurt her any more than he had to. He felt all of it, but he didn’t want to hurt her like this. God! What was he thinking? He was so damned perplexed by his own feelings, he could barely think of hers. As Grey grabbed her arm, he felt Ivy swing around and with her open sweaty palm slap him across his left eye. Stunned, he stopped. That had never happened before. But who was he kidding? She had every reason in the world to be angry. Ivy had broken her only remaining promise and now found herself weak with disappointment. Besides the tears that she could no longer control, she also felt incredibly betrayed. Forgetting her coat, she barged out of his house into the cold night air and got into her car. Before Grey could make it to her, she pulled off into the streets at top speed. “I’m so sorry, Ivy,” Grey whispered, exhausted by their argument as he leaned against his doorway. He only hoped that he had done the right thing by her, finally. |
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